Any final appeals?

I've been sitting on the fence about choosing a religion/belief system. Having watched this forum for some time now, I've come to the conclusion that I'd just rather go out and shoot myself. All the caustic arguing about why this is better than that has given me gall stones. It hurts like a *****. Though, the atheists do seem to have a much better sense of humor. And they are so gosh darn witty sometimes, too.